"India, that hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia..."

It's the 2005 Bulwer-Lytton Contest for worst opening line of a novel! The best really bad prose imaginable... to be fair, the man for whom the contest is named wasn't as bad as all that, but he spawned some of the most hideous imitators and cliches.

Adventure category Runner-Up:

It was high noon in the jungles of South India when I began to recognize that if we didn't find water for our emus soon, it wouldn't be long before we would be traveling by foot; and with the guerilla warriors fast on our heals, I was starting to regret my decision to use poultry for transportation.