by the Arrogant Worms
[Note: they're probably better known for "Jesus' Brother Bob," but this is the song that still makes me laugh too hard to sing. Thanks to our Canadian friends for sharing!]
Malcolm (c. 1997)
Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom
Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol
Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law
But Malcolm has his own way and it's better than them all
'Cause
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw (x3)
and he never has the same problem twice
Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late
Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate
Awful TV programs or a broken Elvis plate
Or his fiancee who dumps him because he's gaining weight
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw (x3)
and he never has the same problem twice
Aaaaggghhh Aaaaggghhh
problem solved!
(the index of other lyrics and poetry I've posted is here)
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