Thursday Lyric: The Great Historical Bum

I grew up with the Chad Mitchell Trio version of this song (with full dialogue here), but the words of the original are a bit more pointed (and less salacious). For a really neat, truly original version, check out the 1945 Woody Guthrie Songbook, which has the handwritten notation "Fascism fought/ Indoors and out/ Good & bad weather/ Full & empty halls."

Great Historical Bum
(a.k.a. Just the Facts, M'am,
a.k.a. The Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done)
By Woody Guthrie

I'm just a lonesome traveler, the great historical bum
Highly educated, out of history I've come
I built the Rock of Ages, it was in the year of One
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done

I was in the Garden of Eden, that was the year of Two
Joined the Apple Pickers Union, and I always paid my dues
I'm the man that signed the contract to raise the Rising Sun
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done

I was straw boss on the pyramids, the Tower of Babel, too
I opened up the ocean, let the migrant children through
I fought a million battles and I never lost a one
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done

I licked the daring Roman, I licked the daring Turk
Defeated Nero's army, boys, with thirty minutes' work
I fought a million battles and I never lost a one
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done

I was in the Revolution that set this country free
Me and a couple o' Indians, we dumped the Boston tea
I fought the battle of Valley Forge and the battle of Bully Run
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done

There was a man across the ocean, I guess you know him well
His name was Adolph Hitler, God damn his soul to hell
We kicked him in the panzers and put him on the run
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done

[The songbook version goes on for a few more verses about beating Japan and Germany. I just love "kicked him in the panzers" so I thought I'd stop there]