Yes, Spam and Drugs Are the Dark Side

Got this in my e-mail recently:

As I said in the title, my first thought was that it was the confession of a sex drug spammer that they belong to the Dark Side. Not that we didn't know that to begin with.

Then the narrative problems started to pop up: why would Darth offer Obi-wan something helpful? Is it, like the Dark Side, an ultimately dangerous and corrosive shortcut to unearned power? Does anyone really doubt that Obi-wan's lightsaber is really straight and full of energy, or is this intended to sow doubt among the faithful?

Then my head got really weird: Jedi don't marry! They aren't supposed to have intimate relationships, apparently, except... for their mentoring relationships with other Jedi. Could it be that the all-male and paternalistic Jedi order has the same kind of "platonic" sexual relations that the ancient Greeks had? (Is there more to the Obi-wan/Anakin relationship?) I know I can't be the first person to ask these questions, but when did the spammers find out and who are they really marketing to?

Spam can mess with your head if you think about it too long. Anything can, really, but this is truly weird stuff. What are they thinking?

Enough. Carnival of Satire Time! (Except, this isn't satire, it's reality! Funnier than anything you can make up, sometimes.)