Before you pick up your date tonight, read this....

Six ways to increase your attractiveness [via] to potential mates:

• Experience fear together. [which explains the inappropriate relationships and sex scenes in most thriller movies, I suppose]
• Body language. [Standing: good. Knuckle-dragging: bad]
• Music. [not with body parts, though. Not on a first date, anyway]
• Chemistry. [a.k.a. alcohol and chocolate; also, for men, soap]
• Eye contact. [Because you don't usually fall in love at first smell.... see above]
• Jokes. [How'm I doing so far?]

This explains so much about modern dating . . . It's scary to think that all those cliches really, really work.

And, if your date is a member of Congress, or you yourself are a member of Congress, you might want to consider an FBI chaperone (more; hypocritical bastards).