If you haven't got a ha'penny, God Bless You

According to the Specious Report:

Coin Collectors Divided over New Bush Half-Penny

Enthusiasm for the Thomas Jefferson buffalo tail nickel has not carried over to the George W. Bush horse's ass half-cent.

The majority of numismatists quickly gave a big thumbs up to the new five-cent piece. But the half-penny, dubbed simply "The Bush" by hobbyists, has sparked a bitter debate.

"Each half-cent will cost about 0.81 of a cent to mint, creating an unnecessary deficit every year," detractors of The Bush complain. "And it looks so much like a penny, The Bush will facilitate widespread dishonesty. The Bush is doomed to be a miserable failure."

"These will come in very handy when the President's Social Security reforms pass," insist supporters of The Bush. "Once the program is forced into bankruptcy, each retiree will get one in the mail every month. Or they can just feel around under the sofa cushion."

The traditional slogan "In God We Trust" is replaced by "Trust Me" on The Bush, which will make it highly sought after by collectors of U.S. coins with oxymorons.

Satire. Yeah. Mean. Yeah. True to life. Yeah.

Non Sequitur: Kermit the Frog is Fifty!