Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Doctor Jokes

I love the Grand Rounds: that's how I found these jokes (I removed the "meanings" attached by by bioethicist Dr. Bernstein not because they're wrong, though some of them are, but because if you want them you can follow the link back yourself):
  • A college professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
    "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out.
    "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
    A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
    The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
  • The psychiatrist said to his nurse: "Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"
  • There's more jokes (mostly not really doctor jokes, but OK) here, including the following veterinary humor:
    • A farmer was involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck. He ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim.
      "I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're supposed to have suffered?" said the counsel for the insurance company.
      "Yes, that's right", replied the farmer.
      "You claimed you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied "I've never felt better in my life. Is that the case?"
      "Yeah, but ….."
      "A simple yes or no will suffice."
      "Yes," replied the farmer quietly.
      Then it was the turn of the farmer's counsel to ask the questions.
      "Please tell the court the exact circumstances of events following the accident when you made your statement of health," his lawyer said.
      "Certainly," replied the farmer. "After the accident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead. Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots his dead too. Then he comes straight over to me, with his gun still smoking, and asks me how I was feeling. Now, mate, what the hell would you have said to him?"

No comments: